o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize