Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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