Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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