and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
