Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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