Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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