she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
