is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
