I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
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And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
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I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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