beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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