I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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