Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
