why didn't you poke me back
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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