I hate all girls vehemently.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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