sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
