Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
