I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
