i barfeds in our rink
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
