no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
