my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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