trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
