I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
