I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
