And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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