nut hugger
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
my liver is dry heaving
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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