I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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