he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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