Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
