We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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