I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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