She said her name was "party"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
