At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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