She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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