I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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