I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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