My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
