then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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