how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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