So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
