he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
