Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
