sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
