Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
