we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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