your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Tell her she can't have a vagina
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
