dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
