I just pynch a tree in the face
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
