They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize