Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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