I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
