i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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