There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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