i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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