After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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