Me. At least after what I've been through.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
