The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think your dad took our porno
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
