my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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