physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
